Merriam – Webster announced the word of the year at the end of November. For 2022 the word is gaslighting. Huh? Yep, searches were up over 1740% from 2021 and constant throughout the year.
The definition is “psychological manipulation of a person, usually over an extended period of time, that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
When we think of gaslighting we used to think of prolonged manipulation as we have seen in different movies. The origin of the term is based on a movie called Gaslight in which a man manipulates his wife, Ingrid Bergman, into thinking she is going insane. And who can forget the Julie Roberts psycho-thriller, Sleeping with the Enemy, from 1991. More recent movies include Girl on the Train and Invisible Man (with the Handmaid’s Tale heroin).
In simple, modern, terms gaslighting is misleading someone for one’s own advantage. The word of the year is telling about society in 2022 and how the term now encompasses both long-term and short-term gaslighting. It has felt like society has been plagued with accusation and mistrust while we keep hearing of fake news, deepfakes, artificial intelligence and deliberate conspiracies. And while the crazy improvements in tech and media have created believable deepfake images and videos, sometimes (if we know the truth) they can be wildly entertaining. The trick is to know what is real and what isn’t. See the video below, chosen because of how well it is done and that it is clearly fake.
My ask of you – let’s pick words we aspire to for WOTY 2023. I’m choosing thoughtful and generous. What will you choose?
If Only Extra: During a recent trip to Dallas, over dinner a friend made the most interesting observation: she said parents gaslight their kids all the time, just look at Santa Claus. Parents manipulate their children into believing a man will come down the chimney to deliver presents if they are nice and not naughty. The manipulation goes so far that children put out milk and cookies for this fictious benefactor and will often start behaving for fear of repercussions (and after the threats). The easter bunny and tooth fairy fall in the same category, but the extent of the deception is far less. Does that make it better?
If Only Quote:
PSA: If you decide to label a behavior as gaslighting on social or in real-time, be sure you are correct. Because if you are not, you’d be the one gaslighting. ― Richie Norton
If Only Video: https://youtu.be/5rPKeUXjEvE